Do you care?
For someone else, that is?
Actively, like for a child or parent or ailing spouse?
My husband does.
He cares for me. He has become the chief cook and bottle-washer around here. Not to mention aching-back rubber. (He tries not to rub me the wrong way!)
He soothes me, coos to me, woos me, and tells me he will take good care of me. Since he can’t “fix” my condition, his new mission in life is to give me the best quality of life possible.
But who cares for the caregiver?
In my weakened condition, it is incumbent upon Mike to take care–great care of himself. And he does.
How?
Seriously, by letting his hair down:
Because I Care!
Letting one’s hair down once in a while helps. It helps to keep one’s head on straight. Well, as straight as can be expected in the topsy-turvy world of care giving.
But there is another way a caregiver can refresh himself when times get hair-curling. That is to refresh with a friend: (Hi, Ron)
Refreshment!
and then take a bath and read a good book at day’s end:
Living The Sweet Life!
Ahh…life is good.
And the next day, when the mission of giving is once more undertaken, the load is lightened. Lightened enough that the caregiver can once more give to his beloved one of life’s most precious gifts: a reminder that life is not to be taken too seriously–especially when it seems like life is no laughing matter.
Because it is! 🙂
You are so lucky to have this beautiful, loving and giving man! I’m so
happy you have someone like this to give you the love and care that
you so deserve. Love you sister! and Love, Love your Mike for loving
you like he does!
Sweet! Yes, I know how lucky I am. This is not easy on Mike, yet he’s strong and supportive and assures me wants to be here! That’s BIG.
Beautiful!!!!
Thanks, Wanda. You keep up your good work–and clean CT scans!
Wow! Powerful writing, and fun too! Hats off (excuse the pun) to Mike! BTW Shannon Henry is an awesome care giver and now on the Golden Umbrella’s HHA list if anyone needs a “Mike” when he’s off soaking in a tub somewhere or wearing other “hats” 🙂
Hi Bobbie, thanks! (Cute reply.) Shannon would make a great care giver. I’m sure she’ll be sent to the right people at the right time.
What a fun blog…..great to see Mike letting his hair down! You both are so precious to me….Keep on keeping on!!!! Love, Francie
Hi Francie, Mike, fortunately, has no problem letting his hair down–so we will be able to keep on keepin’ on!
I continue to enjoy your posts. Are you up for visitors?
Thanks, Nancy. Sometimes I’m up for visitors. I can’t seem to visit for long anymore, but always enjoy the company of friends!
Delicious. Both of you. Amen to laughing whenever we can! Thanks for the reminder… Love you very much.
Xxxxxx
Amen, indeed! Ha Ha Can’t wait to see you this summer.
Dearest Gayle,
You always manage to make me laugh and cry at the same time! What a gift you have. I love the pictures if Mike!
Love you!
The same is true for me, dear friend. We always manage to laugh and cry when we’re together. Ha Ha Boo Hoo Whoo Who!
Thanks for sharing life’s pleasures! Bless you both! Big hugs!!
You and I have shared life’s pleasures for decades! Only wish I felt like dancing!
Ah yes, right there with you, Gayle… this caregiver of many, two and four-legged (don’t forget the chickens and ducks!) for nearly 40 years has become the cared-for these last few months and oh, it has been so hard! But I am learning to not only let others care for me, but lighten my helpers’ way in every way I can – a good, shared chuckle goes a long way, also – in my enforced resting state, noticing a pair of nesting Bluebirds and being able to point them out to my weary caregiver – sure did brighten the day for us both! I believe being able to learn to receive as well as give care, levels us all into the field of unconditional love, a great place to be, much like a spring meadow in bloom.
Love to you, Sweet Gayle!
I am so glad you’re allowing yourself to receive! It’s easy to go into this place kicking and screaming–isn’t it! Sounds to me that your time of convalescence might be a perfect time to sit and draw those chickens, ducks, dogs and cows. You will find that you are drawing yourself. Love to you!
Thank you for posting your thoughtful words and playful pictures. You brought love and peace to me in reading about your appreciation for your hubby. Blessings and Love to you.
Love and peace. Ahh, words to live by!
We have beds on our deck from May to September where my hubby sleeps outside every night with the kids… he’s going through chemo right now so I know I have to step up to the plate this Summer. Love the tub! XX
We enjoy our outdoor bed, too–after the mosquitoes have moved north for the summer! I’m sorry to hear about your husband–it is a difficult period. Not all chemo makes one too ill to function. Hopefully, his is one of those. Based on personal experience, the best thing you can do for him is to reassure him that you and your family will go through this together–then do it, whatever it looks like! Blessings and prayers to you an your husband.
Yes Gayle sometimes it is much harder on the care giver. Mike is lucky to have your love and humor to keep him going. Thank you again for the reminder to keep life simple and not to be so serious.
BIG HUGS
Lynda
Hi Sweetie…Care givers make many sacrifices–but Mike assures me he gets many rewards. Thank goodness! Hope I get to paint with you again soon!
Dear Gayle and Mike, you are both such an inspiration to everyone, whatever their life is taking them through. And I so admire the way you share your journey as it is a lesson in real love and caring, for all who are finding themselves facing difficulty in this ‘life’. Love you and think of you often. Love and prayers, Sharon
Dearest Sharon, you are the epitome of care giver. You take care of your entire high school class! Not an easy thing to do with so many independent thinkers. 🙂 Thank you for your kind words. Hope to see you at the next reunion–if not sooner!
I had great doubts, but now they have been alleviated – you or better Mike actually uses the tub!
Love to you both
Liz
PS: please change our e-mail to d.emadden @yahoo.com. I want to keep reading your blog. Our e-mail was sold along with the business.
Hi Liz,
Yes, I use the tub, too, when I can. A bath is truly one of life’s greatest pleasures!
I can’t change your email on the blog. I can’t access any of them. You will have to subscribe again using your new email.
Mike teach me how to really live. You seem to have it at its best! So grateful to God that you have been blessed as a loving couple
Mike has the ability to accept himself as he is and not hold back. I think that’s the secret to his living life so well! But, you can always ask next time you see him. 🙂
No words can convey my thoughts or feelings. I am so glad you have Mike and Mike has you.
love ya
We’re so glad to have you and Jerry too! Mutual admiration society. 🙂
This made me cry and laugh and then cry again. I am already hugging my father as he sobs in the absense of you.
I have made bold statements and written poetry and made beautiful things in my lifetime but I ask myself now after knowing you what real impact have I had in this world? You are leaving a tidal wave of love in your wake and there is no greater art.
It’s hard to make me speechless, but you just did! (Well, that lasted only a moment–ha ha)Now it is my turn to cry, and then laugh. I know one impact you have made in this world. You’ve allowed me to love you, and the painting I see of us is beautiful!
I’d love to see that painting Gayle…..you are such a talented artist in addition to being a wonderful person. Sniff, sniff, smile:)
I wasn’t the artist, the dog was. But it’s my sister’s dog, and she kept his picture if you want to see it the next time you visit. 🙂
I’d love to see it and visit again soon….and I love your sister, she’s awesome!
She is the best! Come anytime.
Don’t know how I missed this post earlier, but I love it! It sounds like Mike has a handle on caring for himself while he cares for you. What a blessed couple you are!
I am indeed lucky to have him!
I somehow missed this post! I giggled so much when I saw it…I remember how much fun that day was…spontaneous and glorious! I feel so blessed that I got to share it with you. I remember Mike singing his Irish song, the impressive tune he played on the tin whistle, and I remember, most of all…your radiant smile and laughter…& that special giggle you do when you are painting. I love you both very, very, much! XOXOXOXOXO
It was truly a perfect day of fun, laughter and love! Glad you were there.