I tried hard not to die last year. I did not want to leave my family. This week my mother tried. She tried with all her heart and soul not to die. She did not want to leave her family, but she did. At 99-years old, she smiled her last smile, cried her last tear, breathed her last breath, received her last kiss.
There seems to be a greater calling which cannot be denied. We’re ultimately drawn to it as surely as a moth flies to a glowing porch light on a late summer night. I was blessed to have been with my mother during this intimate time–one of the most sacred times of life.
As I sat keeping vigil at her bedside, I was struck by the miracle of the human spirit. It enters our bodies and walks this earth, loves others and does good works. Deep inside it teases us with a yearning to know it. Then one day this miraculous animating force leaves our bodies to continue its journey. Thank you, Mother, for showing me that even death is a miracle!
How ironic. At the end of my mother’s life, she was still giving gifts–gifts that started with my birth. As Kathy, the beautiful hospice nurse said, “A person dies like they live.” In my mother’s case, she was still giving.
Isn’t that just like a mother!
Everlasting love
Gayle,
When my mother passed away three years ago I felt the sad loss of one who has given me so much. But what I most remember was her strength, her kindness, and her love. May your memories be your strength as well.
Tim
Hi Tim,
Thank you! I didn’t mention one other gift she gave me that has to do with you. Cancelling our backpacking trip with you was one of the hardest things for me to do. Not because of the backpacking, but because of not wanting to disappoint YOU. Mom taught me that it is good to do what is best for ALL concerned, including myself! You don’t know how much your phone call meant to me! Bless you, dear friend.
I’m glad you got to share the end of your mother’s life, a special, and in its own way, beautiful time. Nonetheless, I send my condolences, as I know all too well the hole you feel in your heart now. Blessings, Ann
Hi Ann,
You’re right. There is a hole in your heart at first. But then that very same mother’s love fills it full. How do mothers do that!
I don’t know how mothers do that, at least the good ones do. But I hope I will do it for my kids, too. Love, Ann
Ann,
Your life’s calling has been to fill others with love. Can’t imagine you stopping any time soon. 🙂
Our thoughts & prayers are with you & your family. Sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute you wrote to your mother. Marchelle
Thank you! It’s been far too long since we’ve seen you!
Hello my dear friend,
I am so sorry to read of your mother’s passing, but I am glad you were with her, and that she was still giving. I know she was a loving and giving woman, and I will never forget her, and will cherish the memories I have of her. I tried to reach you on your cell phone, but I know that there are so many things to do after the death of a loved one. We just went through it with Ken’s grandmother. She was 92. My thoughts, prayers, condolences and love are with you.
Hi Laurian,
Mom loved it when you came to visit! Glad you remember her with such fond memories. You and Ken have had two major losses. My prayers for you both. Will call you soon.
Oh Gayle, as much as we learn to accept their journey is ongoing, without us…we still miss them. As you might expect, I’m feeling the loss of your Mom, who I also have fond memories of, and on the heels of losing my mom (April 2012). So, my thoughts are with you and your family. I think your mom is surrounded by love on her journey. As you said she gave so much love throughout your life, that love continues on. We were blessed to have such wonderful mothers.
Take care,
Love ya sister!
Joy
Hi Joy,
Your mom was my second mom for many years. Sad time of life for us both!
My dear Gayle, How like you to see the “gift” your Mother gave you as she
transitioned. My heart of prayer goes out to you, Joannie, & Michael at
this time. May you all be at peace. Love, Peggie *
“My heart of prayer goes out to you….” What a beautiful thought, Peggie,thank you. Since Mom is at peace, it is much easier for us to find it!
Wow, Pooh. I kept picturing you up on your backpacking trip. I didn’t know your mother had passed away. You are right about the mother thing. I realized that my mother gave me birth, and that, in itself, was the greatest gift she gave me, bar none. Thanks for sharing so beautifully.
Carolyn♥
Hi Piglet,
I stopped in Thursday morning to visit her and saw that she was dying. Cancelled my trip but not my heart!
Your mom was very special…after all she had to put up with me!!!!
Prayers and blessings to you and your family. Mom will be missed.
love charlie
She loved putting up with you! Remember the Christmas she bought me the life-sized doll that looked like me and your mom bought you one that looked like you. Sweet memories of both of our moms.
The loss of our Mom is one of the hardest there is to endure.I was able to be with mine also when she passed at 94 in 2001.The thing that kept me going was knowing I would see her again. At times like this, when I write or talk about her, the tears start flowing, as the missing never leaves. Your mom must have done everything right…look at the beautiful and special daughter named ‘Gayle’ she raised. How fortunate we were that God picked them for us as our mom’s. Lot’s of love and prayers to you and Mike.
Hi Sharon,
Truly, there is no one like a Mom. Mine raised five of us and will be missed. Thanks for your wishes and prayers.
So beautifully written. What an honour for your Mother to be spoken of so highly. To me the greastest achievenment in life is the difference you make in other peoples lives. Money and all that goes with it is not what life is about. It’s all about “LOVE”. Your Mother sounds amazing…reminds me of mine. May she Rest In Peace with God. Siobhan
I think you are so wise to realize how Love is the answer: to any question! Thank you for your kind words. I hope your father is doing well!
Gayle,
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your mother, you were so lucky to have her in your life for so long, I remember her from years ago. What a beautiful tribute to her life and the lives of all that she touched. It was so nice to see you the other day and talk with you again. After our visit I couldn’t stop thinking about your positive outlook on life and it made me stop and evaluate what is truly important in mine,thank you.
My thought and prayers are with you and your family at this time.
Jennie
Yes, we were lucky to have had Mom for such a long time! Thank you for your kind words. I bet it wasn’t too hard for you to think about what is important in life while you had your lovely granddaughter with you! 🙂
You are blessed to have spent time with her before she passed. I love what you wrote about her “that she was still giving”. This will never cease as you will always notice “winks” from her – as I am sure you have already.
Love and Peace to you.
Marianne
I love the idea of receiving winks. The birds did chirp at the moment of her passing. Does that count as a wink?
I’m so sorry for your loss, Gayle.
Thank you, Linda.It is a sad time.
Dearest Gayle,
I am so sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. I know she was such a special lady in your life. I loved the stories of the bridal party and the tea party you held with her attending. I wasn’t able to attend but I can just picture the love and laughter that filled the room. Loosing your mother is something you will never get over, but knowing you will see her again will keep her memories with you always. My love and prayers to you and your family. xoxox mb
Thank you for reminding me of those fun memories. How many ladies in their 90s would let us dress them up as a pregnant woman in a white wedding gown! Or put her on the back of a Harley! Or dress up as a cat. Or…..
Blessings, Mary.
What a beautiful tribute to your mother. What an honor to behold the release of her incredible spirit!
It was truly my honor to share her journey with her. Sometimes people wait until they are alone. I am glad she didn’t!
Gayle, a quote from Ann Landers, “It is not what you do for your children but what you taught them to do for themselves , that makes them successful human beings.” Your Mother has taught you well. May your fond memories of her bring you much peace and joy in the days to come. Gail
Gail,
I am so happy to hear from you! And I love the quote–thank you! Mom absolutely loved watching us play ball over the years, so you brought her much enjoyment, too. Hope you are well and happy!
Wow, Gayle– this is so beautiful. I so wish others could embrace the end of life like what you experienced with your Mother. I volunteered at a local hospice with my dog Frankie for 3 1/2 years (she was a therapy dog) and learned that there are many gifts in end of life and will always be so grateful for the experience of volunteering at our local hospice.
A great book on the subject is called Final Gifts written by a hospice nurse.
Thank you, Barbara, for dropping in. I’m honored! Also thank you for the book recommendation. I would also love to read a book about a therapy dog working with dying patients. Have you written one?
You are so welcome! No, I have not written a book such as that, though did write a children’s book about Frankie and her work at Libby’s House where many of the residents have Alzheimer’s and dementia to help children understand those issues. IT’s called “Frankie the Walk ‘N Roll Therapy Dog Visits Libby’s House.”
In regards to the book about therapy dogs and hospice you might want to check out “Moments with Baxter” http://www.amazon.com/Moments-With-Baxter-Comfort-Therapy/dp/0981881300/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345738419&sr=8-1&keywords=baxter+the+therapy+dog
Gayle, You have put into words things I’ve always wanted to write down for my own mother’s passing. It was such an honor and a blessing to be a part of it. I feel your loss, and my heart is with you. Her specialness is marked indelibly on your character….I’m sorry I didn’t know her. Francie
Hi Francie,
Death is such an intimate time, isn’t it? I feel honored she shared it with me! Thanks for letting me know that my words are your words, too!